My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Found your dick twin last night
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
