i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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