I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
