The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
