Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I see more hoeing in ur future
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
