Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
