You can't motorboat a personality
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
