I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
