I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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