I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
