You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
