New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
