Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
