I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
