Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
