are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
