More tranny stories later!
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
