Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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