We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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