Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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