I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Congratulations! We have a period
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