ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
