I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
