dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize