One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
