Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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