This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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