I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
