the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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