I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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