Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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