drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You smell like stripper and shame
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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