turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
my being single is dangerous.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Randomize
