Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
