I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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