you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
