just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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