Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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