if only i could text you this smell
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
