so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
