i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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