Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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