Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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