I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
