just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
