Me too!
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
