you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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