brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
