Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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