I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
