I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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