gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
