I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You can't just leave with hair like that
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Terrible idea I love it
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
